Day two since Winston left us, and things are still pretty hazy. Normal things, comfortable things, just don’t hold my attention. I find myself sighing a lot, unconsciously. It’s weird how a deep breath can make you feel better, at least for a few seconds. Afterwards, it’s back to empty and sad.

Thanks to everyone who’s told or sent me kind words. I appreciate your strength and comfort. I’ve been talking with my mom and brother a lot this weekend. That’s been nice, although there’s not much we seem to be able to say to make anyone better. I also have been searching around the web for pet cancer relief, and have found some Yahoo groups and many website memorials. It’s numbing the amount of people whose lives are touched so deeply by their pets; and the understanding those people have for those who have lost theirs is amazing. They call animals dying ‘crossing the rainbow bridge’ and there are poems and flash animations that range from stupid to tearful. I do know this: so many people light candles for lost pets – it makes the world a brighter place, in many ways.

Winston hated to be away from his mom and his boys. His last trip up the stairs was under his own will to get to Mom and Aaron. Too sick to lay down, and too exhausted to stand – he made his way up thirteen steps from the basement to be with his family. Not too much later, he didn’t go off in a corner to die, but laid down into the arms of his loved ones who hugged him as he expired. He was only really happy when he was with his family; I can’t imagine him being far away from us right now.

I’m sad. Here’s a picture from 2003. Goodnight, sweet princy.