I remember waking up to the phone ringing and ringing and ringing. I don’t normally get out of bed to answer the phone, but on the third or fourth successive four-ring attempt, I got up. It was my mom, freaking out, asking if I was okay. I was asleep, and couldn’t figure out why she was going crazy.

So, I turned on the secondary info source (remember, 2001 was pre-TiVo for me,) the TV. Horiffic scenes of New York were on all the stations. There was lots of panic, reserved speculation, but no one know what was going on or why. There was fear.

A lot of sites on the Internet are remembering 9/11/01 today, and many people are asking/recollecting on what happened that day. Here’s my story.

I don’t watch much TV news. I have networks I like for programming, but there’s no real news source I turn to when I have questions. On September 11, all the channels were covering the terror. Which one do I watch? Who do I trust?

But I also remember those scenes. The penatgon on fire. The second plane hitting. The giant buildings falling.

It’s hard to describe the feelings I felt on 9/11. The sadness. The enormity of the situation. Later, the stories of heroism and patriotism came rolling in and reminded us that while there’s evil badness in the world, there’s more good.

What I do know about that feeling is it’s not a stranger anymore. The east-indian tsunami. Hurricane Katrina. The London Tube bombings. The Atlanta olympics bombings. The OK city bombings. Columbine. Too many earthquakes and mudslides and forest fires to count or identify, although for the people who encountered them, I’m sure they cannot forget. Hurricane Andrew. And these are only the US issues that I can easily recall. There’s tons of other things going on across the world, right now, and all the time, that are sad. Things we don’t want to happen. Challenger. Columbia. Afghanistan. Kuwait. Saudi Arabia. Iraq.

What do all of these things have in common? Sensational media with insane biases? Probably. Piss poor management or administration that didn’t do what was needed before, during, and after the tradegy? Certainly, even in the best case.

What I’m getting is that each time I hear about these tradegies, I hear and see people doing amazing, super-human things. They’re putting life and limb at risk to save strangers. They’re sacrificing themselves for someone else’s safety. I’ve been far enough away from these events that I don’t get to witness this first hand, but I see people as far away from me also getting involved. People are giving what they can, in spirt, money, supplies, boarding, love, compassion… This is the miracle of humanity.

Life isn’t a gift, it is a struggle. It doesn’t matter the origins of these challenges, eventually they touch everyone. It’s how you meet the challenge, and help others selflessly, that matters.

I think of the passengers on the flight on 9/11 that didn’t hit a building. I think of them, realizing their own peril, and taking a stand. They didn’t do that because it would mean certain doom (in fact, I’m sure they did it to save themselves.) But I also know they knew what they were a part of, and stopped it, as best they could. Those people give me goose bumps.

I like getting emails about Katrina support for every clique I’m in… Technology, higher learning, red cross, humane societies, librarians, students, musicians, educators… Everyone has been effecte, and everyone has something they can contribute. I know people are dying in the southeast, or have died, and I can’t even fathom the scope of this last storm. Yet I get giggly every time I get an email from the Missouri Humane Society with pictures of rescued dogs drinking safe water. It may not “matter,” but in the face of such horror, the good things being done, no matter how little, are really the only thing that matters. Even though I know it’s drops in an ocean, I feel good about every dollar I can put in a can because it’s my way of sharing in the good (maybe the only good) that comes from these bad times.

Four years later, I haven’t forgotten. I don’t think anyone would, just as older generations won’t forget about Vietnam, or JFK. But I know that the tribute to these harsh times lives on in the humanity we share with each other every day, in the hard times even more so. That makes me feel better.